Brian Laundrie killed Gabby Petito to take “away her pain” after a fall in Wyoming’s Spread Creek, according to the journal entry he wrote before shooting himself to death in a Florida park.

The long and desperate search for the 19-year-old vlogger ended on September 19, 2021, almost a month after her family reported her missing. Her body was found in a remote area of Bridger-Teton National Forest, but by that time Laundrie had returned to Florida and disappeared into the Myakkahatchee Creek Environmental Park not far from his family’s home. His body was found in November, and his chilling, hand-written confession to Petito’s murder was found in January 2022.

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This is Brian Laundrie’s notebook confession where he admits he ended Gabby's life. pic.twitter.com/f3iyTutWpo

— Brian Entin (@BrianEntin) June 24, 2022

Petito and Laundrie had launched a cross-country van trip in July of that year, with Petito documenting the trip on social media. In Utah, however, the journey was marred by accusations of domestic abuse — which didn’t surface until after Laundrie had returned to Florida in Petito’s van but without her. Laundrie’s family refused to answer questions as Petito’s family desperately sought them.

Laundrie’s notebook finally provided some of those answers but also raised more questions, with no one left alive to answer them. Petito’s family has filed a lawsuit against Laundrie’s family, citing emotional distress over their unwillingness to talk during those harrowing weeks while the young woman’s fate was unknown.

CrimeOnline has transcribed the water-smeared, 8-page notebook entry:

Gabby,
I wish I was right at your side, I wish I could be talking to you right now. I’d be going through every memory we made, getting even more excited for the future. But we lost our future. I can’t live without you. I’ve lost every day we ? spent together. every holiday. I’ll never get to play with ? again. Never go hiking with Tj. I loved you more than anything. I can’t bear to look at our photos, to recall great times because it is why I cannot go on. When I close my eyes I will think of laying on the roof of the van, falling asleep to the sight of a meteor shower at the crystal geiser [sic]. I will always love you.
If you were reading gab’s journal, looking at photos from our life tegether, fliping [sic] through old cards you wouldn’t want to live a day without her. Knowing that everyday you’ll wake up without her, you wouldn’t want to wake up. I’m sorry to everyone this will affect, gabby was the love of my life, but I know shared by many. I’m so very sorry to her family because I love them. I consider her younger siblings my best of friends. I am sorry to my family. This is a shock to them as well a terrible greif [sic].
They loved as much, if not more than me. A new daughter to my mother, an aunt to my nephews. Please do not make this harder for them. This occurred as an unexpected tragedy. Rushing back to our car trying to cross the streams of Spread Creek before it got too dark to see, to cold. I hear a splash and a scream. I could hardly see. I couldn’t find her for a moment, shouted her name. I found her breathing heavily, gasping my name she was really cold. We had just come from the blazing hot national parks
in Utah. The temperature had dropped to freezing and she was soaking wet. I carried her as far as I could down the stream towards the car, stumbling exhausted in shock, when my knees buckled and knew I couldn’t safely carry her. I started a fire and spooned her as close to the heat, she was so thin, already been freezing too long. I couldn’t at the time realize that I should have started a fire first but I wanted her out of the cold back to the car. From where I started the fire I had no idea how far the might be. Only
knew it was across the creek. When I pulled gabby out of the water she couldn’t tell what hurt. She had a small bump on her forehead that eventually got larger. her feet hurt, her wrist hurt, but she was freezing, shaking violently. while carrying her she continually made sounds of pain, laying next to her she said little lapsing between violent shakes, gasping in pain, begging for an end to her pain. She would fall asleep and I would shake her awake fearing she shouldn’t close her eyes if she had a concussion.
She would wake in pain start her whole painful cycle again while furious that I was the one waking her. she wouldn’t let me try to cross the creek, thought like me that the fire would go out in her sleep and she’d freeze. I don’t know the extent of gabby injurys [sic], only that she was in extreme pain. I ended her life. I thought it was merciful, that it is what she wanted, but I see now all the mistakes I made. I paniced [sic]. I was in shock. But from the moment I decided, took away her pain I knew I couldn’t go on without her.
I rushed home to spend my time I had left with my family. I wanted to drive north and let James or TJ kill me but I wouldn’t want them to spend time in jail over my mistake, even thought I’m sure they would have liked to. I am ending my life not because of fear of punishment but rather because I can’t stand to live another day without her. I’ve lost our whole future together, every moment we could have cherished. I’m sorry for everyone’s loss. Please do not make life harder for my family. They lost a son and a daughter, the most wonderful girl in the world. gabby I’m sorry
I have killed myself by this creek in the hopes that animals near tear me apart. that it may make some of her family happy.

Please pick up all of my things. Gabby hated people who litter.

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[Featured image: Gabby Petito/Instagram]